Resilience – the Serenity Mindset

‘Nobody was prepared for this’. ‘How do you deal with all this stress?’ ‘Can we make it all just go away?’ ‘How do you cope?’

The B.A.T method of stress reduction is a practical means of becoming a less stressed person. The ‘B’ in B.A.T is for Building Resilience. The first tenet of resilience building is to adopt the Serenity Mindset.

The Serenity mindset is built on the Serenity Prayer that goes like this:

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference’

This is a popular prayer and rightly so. However, look a little more deeply and you will find 3 essential truths about human existence hidden in plain sight:

1. There are some things you cannot change
2. There are some things that you can change but it takes courage to change them
3. You need wisdom to know which things you can change and which things you cannot. It is easy to confuse the two.

You apply the serenity mindset like this: For anything that bothers, stresses, or upsets you, ask yourself the question

‘Is this something I can change?’

 If it is something that you can change, change it. If it is something you cannot change, learn to live with it, adapt to it, accept it and move on.

‘But doing this is very hard’ Let’s apply some serenity thinking to this and see how it works.

Can you change the fact that it is hard to do? No, you cannot. So – accept it and move on, it is what it is. Do it anyway.

Still not convinced? Let’s try another example. ‘There are people in this chat group I belong to who really annoy me, I wish they would stop’. Serenity thinking – can you make them stop saying things that annoy you? Probably not (legally or ethically). Therefore – adapt to it – I can mute the group or leave the group entirely.

One more example. ‘I am frustrated because of lockdowns and not being able to live my life the way I like to live it’. Serenity thinking – can I do anything to return to my desired way of living (without getting arrested/thrown out of the home etc)? No, I cannot, therefore – accept and adapt – pick up a new hobby or skill, set personal goals that I can do in the present, seek help to relax and become a more mindful person.

Adopting the Serenity Mindset will set you on the path of becoming a more Resilient person. You will not only eliminate  many stressors, you will leave yourself with more energy and mindspace to tackle the things that you should – the ones you can change. To do otherwise would be to live with constant stress, always tense, uptight, feeling defeated and discouraged. Start becoming more resilient today, by adopting the Serenity Mindset.